You will know the Lovers by their Love words! You are blessed when you choose to speak in love.
You are also blessed when you choose to turn the other cheek and be love by not returning hurtful words spoken to you. I have never ever seen any relationship go very well, be healthy or lasting when angry words are kept as an option and used to give someone a good hard lesson and a piece of their mind. Turning the other cheek also applies when someone slaps you with hurtful words.
How about giving them the gift of peace—peace of mind and peace of heart instead? That’s a lot more inviting than your rebuking, being condescending, demanding, pressuring, impatient, bossy, and being critical spirited. Your unloving approach is just as uninviting and unappealing and flat out a big “no thank you” to someone who has learned and now knows they aren’t going back or staying around for that kind of unloving mistreatment. They wouldn’t want to any more than a now‑freed once‑prisoner would want to go back into any kind of imprisonment and be expected to just take it, allow it, or stand for it.
Once you are free, you are free indeed. If you really want to reach someone who has been freed, who knows the difference between healthy and not healthy, loving and not loving, and who knows their worth and value and how they deserve to be spoken to, then choose to speak every word of your truth bathed in love.
Littering your written or verbal conversation with anger‑infused tones, words, and messages attacking the person (getting personal in a negative way) is not going to ever resolve anything. In fact, that is the worst thing you can do. You attacking them personally works against the possibility of your real needs ever being heard. The more negative and nasty you get, the more evident it will be that your words have been marinating in the fuel of your anger and you just set a flame to it with your tongue, negative and sarcastic attitude, and unloving, uninviting, unhealthy, and undesirable words and approach. That’s not going to ever work with someone who knows they deserve to be spoken to and treated with respect and honor. I don’t know one healthy person who allows or wants to be treated or charged like they are on trial as if they are some kind of less‑than the way you are speaking down to them.
You really can’t ever expect relationship wounds to be healed unless it is an environment forever free of this kind of toxicity. Although, you can expect relationship wounds to have the best chance of being healed in an emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually loving and peaceful environment which altogether are most conducive to healing.
If all someone can hear is your anger and intended hurt—in your words and tone—they will never ever hear what your heart is really trying to say, nor will they hear your wants or needs. It all gets completely lost and tangled in all the noise of your anger.
Get yourself in a place of peace be still with God before you ever utter or write one word. If you keep trying old formulas and approaches trying to shake someone up to listen and feel the heat of your burning anger to emotionally pressure them with shaming, condemning, guilt‑tripping, and condescending words, how’s that working out for you now or when you were treated that way as a child by someone that was supposed to talk to you like they love you? The love way is the only way for a win‑win for everyone.
How do you expect anyone to really hear your heart and what you are hoping for if you cloud, corrupt, clutter, and complicate it with your angry words and unloving tones that have been marinating in your anger? It only adds more pain, injury, more sad or bad memories, craziness, yuckiness, and hurt on top of what is the real root of the issue that needs to be loved on.
Frankly, that is like trying to clean your yard and rake leaves into a pile but choosing to do so during a huge tornado or hurricane winds and trying to rake them up with a leaf blower. Not only is that bad timing, it’s unwise and a waste of time.
Your efforts in trying to clean up or resolve something that is bothering you during the storm of your anger only further litters everything around you. Add an unbridled tongue in there that is blowing off the heat of your anger all over the place and you’re going to have a bigger aftermath to clean up than you did before.
You add to the problem and work against yourself and the relationship by choosing tools while you are still angry and emotional that work against what you say or think you are trying to accomplish. Who would ever know you had good intentions in your heart for a peaceful outcome when both the storm of your anger and the aftermath it caused looks, sounds, and feels more like another Ground Zero site.
If you let your anger fuel your decisions in those moments you can expect more devastation and potentially a complete loss. You cannot solve problems with yourself and others by creating more problems with your angry, hurtful words. In doing so, you are setting yourself and the relationship in the line of fire and path of destruction. How very sad for you to choose what could be a great opportunity for healing, understanding, and building on that and turning it into an opportunity instead for you to lambaste and lecture someone with your explosive anger because your priority instead is to give them a good hard truth whipping with your tongue. Love must be the priority to create the best chance for healing, restoration, or reconciliation.
Remember that wise old saying: if you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say it at all. That also includes if you don’t have a nice way of saying what you need to say, then don’t say it until you do. Those are wise words to live by.
If someone has given you reason through their track record that they are hot‑tempered and when angry they blow their tops, get huffy and puffy, and become verbally wounding or abusive, it would be better for you to not respond at all to their bite and create a safe space and time between you for a season. Until they show and prove to you they are ready and able to be self‑controlled, emotionally handle themselves in a loving, healthy, peaceful, and mature way in conversation and interactions with you, you are able to stay in peace, pray for them, and just patiently wait in love until such time.
For such a time as this, I hope and pray that by turning your cheek and choosing love as your priority, that in time their heart—your heart—will heal. Maybe someday they will see that love is the only thing that will ever win. Once they encounter the best winning and healing love of all, allowing Love Himself to love them through their anger, hurt, wounds, and injuries inside their heart, they will begin to see the Love Way is the only way to truly win others back into your heart and life.
When we choose love in every season to season every word—written or spoken—healing begins. When we choose love over our need to be right—healing begins.
When Love is the only seat you invite someone to sit down with you to have a healing Heart2Heart conversation—in a peaceful, kind, gentle, patient, safe, respectful, and honoring environment—healing begins.
Let healing begin in you—in me—in us.
Love you all in every season of my heart.
May Love Himself quiet every storm inside your heart and teach you the Holy Hush that heals.
Heart2Heart in His Love,
Momo Smiley
KINGDOM OF LOVE
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222 to the 222’tune Of His LOVESONG ! His Love Notes He sings over me composes His Love Songs -my Godsongs- through me! ~ ~♥ 2 ♥ ~ Momo Smiley
~ ♥ 2 ♥ ~ Momo Smiley