Nurture & protect your serenity and vitality by remembering that yes, miserable people do love company but that doesn’t mean you have to let them treat you in unhealthy, toxic, unloving & hurtful ways just because they are miserable. Remember that!! Your peace is sacred, and the Father of Love entrusted it to you to nurture, guard, and honor with His wisdom.
Truly loving someone means you would not want anyone else to ever suffer, hurt, be miserable or feel the miserable ways you feel. Truly loving someone means even though you might be miserable you would never want your misery to add anymore pain or misery to a person you say you love ~ especially if they have or are presently going through something very hurtful, miserable & painful. It is one thing to come alongside one another & support each other in healthy ways but there is NO excuse to take your misery out on someone else just because you are unsatisfied and miserable with yourself or your circumstances. Enabling is not Love, and Love Himself never asks you to sacrifice your soul to prove your loyalty.
Choose to love others through their misery ~ yes; however, you are not called to be the target they aim & project their misery onto just to prove you love them. You definitely do not want to be an enabler. Enabling is not love. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is step aside so Love Himself can step in.
When you truly love someone you show the highest form of love by choosing words & actions in their presence or absence that match & prove you are FOR THEM ~ not against them. Whatever you do ~ do not use your misery to excuse unhealthy or bad behavior. Rather you can bring your misery alongside their misery and positively support & lovingly empathize with each other. Honoring each other at your times of greatest need or misery while also honoring each other’s healthy boundaries (including honoring your own) is key. For only in the Presence of Love Himself can wounds finally breathe, soften, and begin to heal from the inside out.
Empathy without healthy boundaries is not love. Empathy with healthy boundaries is true love. There is profound peace when you let go & establish healthy boundaries with those who lack healthy boundaries. It is an expression of your authentic love for them & yourself by not enabling them or allowing unhealthy interactions with them to continue. Truly loving them & yourself whether far or near is praying for them & if needed or requested ~ giving them space to heal from the inside out with God.
As they become aware of and begin to heal from their unhealed wounds and issues that are making them an accomplice to their own misery ~ they will begin to see how they formerly made other’s hearts their misery’s dumping grounds. Wounded hearts often try to cast shadows on those with the nearest light, not realizing the shadows are their own.
If they are secretly at war with you (which really means they are at war with themselves) you will either feel it or find out about it. If they are not operating in a place of love or respect ~ their misery is gonna rear its miserable head. Their misery is gonna try to find company one way or the other. If it’s not against you to your face it will be against you behind your back. Observe & take action once you see any red flags to save yourself regret later. Remember you don’t have to make space for or give access to anyone who does not have your best interest at heart level. The writing will be on the wall. So pay close attention.
Remember there is beautiful peace and joy in loving others. When at all possible and it is safe & healthy to do so ~ love & support them from a close distance. Sadly sometimes people are so secretly & internally miserable with themselves they end up turning on you instead of turning towards you. The healthy or unhealthy actions & words tattletale on their heart that they are not in a healthy, loving, peaceful, safe or whole place ~ aiming their misery towards you. So, it may be necessary to let go of their hurtful “company” so they can turn towards & pursue God’s company. He will guard & protect you from further harm from them. Kindly remove yourself from the middle so they get their eyes, negative attention & behavior off of you. Your absence becomes a doorway for them to finally meet the One who can heal what you were never meant to carry. To see their logs you have to get out of the mix so they can come face to face with their internal misery in the safe healing Presence of God. As long as they see you they won’t see their part or how their internal misery has created their own problems which are also affecting you. As long as you are around they will see you as the problem & point the finger of projection at you as if you are the reason(s) for their misery.
So, let’s be our own problem solver! Instead of staying around for more of the same miserable treatment from someone that either sees you as the reason they are miserable or treats you like you are the problem ~ instead let’s be a part of the solution!
When we get out of the(ir) way ~ they will soon meet the real truths in themselves and find out that their misery stems from what is inside them. Why? Because they will still keep having the same problems (that stem from their own issues) even though you are no longer in the picture. Pray they come to their senses, clear their vision and allow God to heal them from the inside out. When they heal and see God rightly ~ they will be able to see themselves rightly which will then help them to finally see you rightly.
You were never their competition even though they compared themselves to you. You were never the source of their problem even though they fixated their attention on you in light of their own insecurities and low self esteem. You were not the reason they were miserable. They were an accomplice to their own pain. You just had to get out of the way so they could meet themselves but more importantly meet God in the core of their wounds and misery. For the Father of Love is the only One who can untangle the knots in someone’s heart & the “Know Nots” inside their minds…
Once they encounter God’s love they will finally be able to see clearly and come to their senses. Once they encounter God’s love and see themselves through His eyes ~ they will be able to see how their misery was self inflicted even though they erroneously tried to make you responsible for their misery. Once they acknowledge, own their own stuff and seek healing for all their issues that fed into their misery ~ they will come to their senses and hopefully partner with God and pursue healing from the inside out.
Misery loves company but you aren’t called to play with company that wants to keep making you their source (reason) for their lack, issues, problems or… misery. They are responsible for themselves. Their only true and one Source should be God. To look to you or anyone else to blame their misery on or to meet or fix the needs inside of them that can only be resolved between them and God is misplaced and unhealthy. You know that but THEY need to learn that.
Still some will not stop projecting their misery onto you no matter what. In these cases ~ this requires you to choose to un‑involve & remove yourself out of the mix so they can finally receive and meet the True Helper they really need in God. This is the key!! You aren’t in nor did you ask to be or stay in their miserable game where they keep trying to pin the tail on you like you’re the donkey. You don’t have to be the target of their misery anymore. If they won’t stop this necessitates you making the move ~ moving out of their way so they can meet themselves & come face to face with & own their part in their own misery.
You can still be love from a distance praying for them and cheering them on. Just don’t be so close they stay focused on you & miss their opportunity of focusing on, seeing & owning their part with God. If removing yourself allows them to become aware & come to their senses so they can experience & encounter God’s healing in the core of their being which would then heal their misery ~ then so be it. I am all for healing and healing for everyone!
Misery loves company is not your problem. Staying anywhere where you are always perceived as the problem is in of itself a big part of the problem. Untie yourself from the tangled webs of unhealthy relationships where your company is labeled the reason for their misery problem. You will never win in the land of their misery. So the most loving thing you can do is give them the blessing of your absence. Your absence becomes a doorway for them to finally meet the One who can heal what you were never meant to carry. If removing yourself from the picture means they’ll find the company of God’s presence to heal all the problems that are the contributing factor to their own misery ~ you will have done the most loving thing you could do. Not becoming or staying apart of the misery so they can find healing to get out of their misery is top tier self‑love and love for others.
To Him that is able to do exceedingly more… Let Him do it! Sometimes we have to get out of the way so God can do the exceedingly more He is able and wants to do!! I do not wanna ever be in the way of anyone I love finding the freedom of being freed from their misery. I know on the other side of misery is the most beautiful life that abounds in God’s peace, Joy, Freedom and the abundant life God has for us. I so want that for everyone! God’s love is the solution!
Always choose to… Be apart of the solution!
Heart2Heart in His Love,
Momo Smiley
222 to the 222’tune Of His LOVESONG ! His Love Notes He sings over me composes His Love Songs -my Godsongs- through me! ~ ~♥ 2 ♥ ~ Momo Smiley
~ ♥ 2 ♥ ~ Momo Smiley