GodSongsHeart2Heart

Your heart was made for Love… not judgment. Be kind to your heart and release people from your judgments… because judgment is a relationship killer. When you judge others, you don’t just hurt them… you hurt yourself. To the degree that you make someone else’s behavior about you in a negative way, to that same degree you bring pain and heartache into your own heart.

Judgment doesn’t just break relationships… it breaks hearts. It shuts doors. It closes rooms inside of you that were meant to stay open — rooms of trust, tenderness, and connection. But when someone you love starts hurting you with their own unhealed wounds, those rooms begin to close. And when that happens, it becomes so easy to slip into judgment… not realizing that judgment is only adding more pain to the pain you already feel.

Judgment feels like protection, but it’s actually a wall that keeps healing out. It’s a reaction to heartbreak, not a solution to it. And the more you judge, the more your own heart aches — because judgment doesn’t heal… it only hardens.

Judgment is the language of fear… and fear always divides. But Love… Love Himself… the Father of Love… the Heart Healer… speaks a different language… the language of Love. Love builds bridges where judgment builds walls. Love restores what judgment tears down. Love is the Heart Builder… the Heart Mender… the Heart Repairer. And when you begin to hear His Love language again, something inside you softens and helps you remember who you truly are.

This is why experiencing and healing with the Father’s Love from the inside out matters… and it counts a whole lot in relationship with yourself and others. When you choose His Love, you become a relationship builder… a heart builder. Standing up for your friends and defending them in their presence and in their absence is heart building. Speaking the better word to and about someone in their presence or absence is heart building. Looking for the gold in someone… especially when it would be easier to point out the dirt you see or know about them… is heart building. That’s what strengthens relationships… that’s what makes them come alive and stay alive. And the more you practice this, the more natural it becomes to live from Love instead of judgment.

As the Father of Love heals you from the inside out, something beautiful begins to happen. You learn to Love yourself and others with His Perfect Love and this sets you free. You learn to release people from all judgments, including yourself. You learn to be free from all judgments toward your own heart, and love others with the Father of Love’s heart. Your learn to see others … and yourself… through His eyes of Love. This is where healing begins to take root.

And here’s the truth in Love… when you truly stop judging yourself, you will stop judging others. When you see and think of yourself rightly… in agreement with the Father of Love’s view and opinion of you, which is your reality… you will begin to see and think about others rightly… the way Love Himself sees and thinks about you. When you love yourself with His Perfect Love, you will love others with His Perfect Love. Immediately fear will shrink… evaporate… evacuate… and poof… be gone. And with fear gone, Love has room to breathe again.

You cannot be free from judging others unless you are first free from judging yourself. So much self judgment… and judgment toward others… comes from not believing that you and others have been made in our Good, Good Father’s identity, worth, and value. You are able to love with Perfect Love because you were created in His Perfect Love. That’s who you are… perfectly loved by His Perfect Love. And when you remember this, judgment loses its grip on you.

And when this truth begins to settle in your heart, something shifts inside your heart. This is why judgment cannot stay where Love is healing. As the Heart Healer fills you, it becomes impossible to keep judging yourself… and impossible to keep judging others. His Love frees your heart to breathe again… to see clearly again… and to love without fear again. Healing always begins with seeing yourself through His eyes.

And here’s another layer of freedom… His Love also pulls the plug on your victim mentality. You begin to see others’ bad behavior choices as a reflection of their unhealed wounds. I learned during my healing journey this powerful truth. People do the things they do… or say… because of them… not you. Out of the abundance of their heart their mouth speaks… good or not so good. Out of the abundance of their unhealed heart they will act… think… speak… and behave. And when you understand this, you stop taking their behavior personally.

And when I ever speak of our Know Nots, I’m talking about something the Father of Love has shown me over and over again… some people truly do not know how their unloving behavior and words hurt others. They don’t know to the degree it hurts others. They are so wounded… so unhealed… so unaware… that they have no clue how their unloving words and actions damage hearts and relationships. They play the victim as if it’s everyone else… and they don’t see their part or own their part. They blame others while carrying a big ole log in their own eyes… and then accuse others for the specks they imagine caused their unloving reactions. And when you see this clearly, compassion rises up inside of you not wanting them to hurt inside but without excusing their hurtful behavior you or someone else you love has been hurt by.

Some Know Nots act as if they do not know but they know exactly what they’re doing and keep acting unloving anyway… which is still a sign they need deep healing. Some pretend they don’t know so they don’t have to take responsibility. And some truly have no clue how their dysfunctional… toxic… unloving behavior keeps killing their relationships and hurting even the very people they say they love. And this is why wisdom and boundaries matter so much.

Jesus forgave people of their Know Nots… therefore we are encouraged to forgive too. So forgive, yes. But forgiveness does not mean automatically giving them access to your heart to keep hurting you. The Father of Love is not asking you to let someone repeatedly wound you in the name of forgiveness. The most you can do is know your part… own your part… heal your part… and let them work out their healing vertically with the Father of Love. You cannot fix what only He can heal inside of them. And this truth should help to bring peace to your heart.

Before they can heal, they have to see their part… and then know how their unhealed wounds are causing destruction in their relationships. They need to know how to be loving… know how they shouldn’t be justifying their bad behavior or unkind words…know how to see others through His eyes of love… know how to speak and act with His Love. They cannot give to anyone else something they do not know… something they have never personally experienced in their own heart. And until they do, their bad behavior will continue to reflect their unhealed places. Meanwhile, you are still trying to heal your part with God.  So, give each of your heart’s good healing time with the Father of Love first…that’s where you begin right now…

Their behavior will not change just because they say “I’m sorry.” I mean that’s nice to hear, but actions speak louder as they say. There should be proof of true heart change that comes with an apology. It’s not an overnight job to heal the wounds that have been there since you were a child or for a while. God is able to do anything, but your heart first has to be willing… willing to see the truth so it can set you free and then do the healing HeArtwork inside of you for lasting proof and change. The one that hurt you might genuinely feel bad for hurting you at the beginning or embarrassed others saw or heard about what they did… but that doesn’t mean or prove they’ve healed or wouldn’t do something hurtful to you again. They have to first heal the unhealed places inside their heart that contributed to their unloving behavior and speech. They also cannot give or share something with you they do not have… something they have never received from the Father of Love. They need the Love Teacher Himself… the Heart Healer… to give them Love Lessons and heal their inner wounds. And until that happens, loving wisdom must guide your every step.

Otherwise, it will set you up for a repeat of getting hurt again. Until they heal what is hurting them… they will likely hurt you again. They cannot give you something they do not know… do not understand… and have not experienced. And if they keep hurting you even after they do know…or keep justifying their unloving ways of speaking to you or about you… that is a clear sign they have more healing to do… and you need to make a wise and emotionally safe choice for your own heart. You do not have to put yourself in close relational access with someone who keeps re wounding you. Wisdom is not rejection… it is protection. And Love always protects.

And here’s something else the Father of Love has been teaching my heart… there is no revenge or vindictive energy in me. None. I genuinely pray and hope that those who have hurt me… or hurt others I love… will heal from whatever taught them or convinced them that it was okay to treat me or other people that way. I don’t want them punished… I want them healed. I want them to know the Father of Love… the Heart Healer… the Heart Mender… the One who can repair the places in them that their hurtful behavior comes from. And this desire for their healing keeps your heart and my heart soft.

But until they heal… until they get a different heart set and mind set… until they learn not to treat others in hurtful ways… you may need to give yourself some relational safe space from them. Not as punishment… not as rejection… but as wisdom. Safe space is not cutting people off… it’s protecting and preserving the peace and healing you’ve found in the Father of Love’s Love. It’s refusing to enable unloving behavior. Love does not enable what is unloving. Love protects. Love guards the heart. Love honors the healing the Father of Love has begun in you. And this is how you love yourself well.

Your greatest act of Love is not to let them keep hurting you… your greatest act of Love is to pray for them… to bless them… and to give them the healing space they need with the Father of Love so He can heal their Know Nots and unhealed wounds… the very places their hurtful words and actions come from. You are not abandoning them… you are entrusting them to the only One who can truly heal them. And entrusting is an act of Love.

You are not a victim. You are a Victor in Christ Jesus. So keep on healing from the inside out. The more you see… become aware of… and heal… the more you will not make their issues about you. They won’t be able to play you like before. The most loving thing you can do for them is pray for them… that they will come to know… see… and experience the healing Love of God from the inside out. And as you heal, you will see clearly again.

And hear this loving truth gently… the Father of Love is sorry for how they have hurt you. But He wants you to be free from letting them make their bad behavior your responsibility. Only Love Himself… the Heart Repairer… can fix what is hurting inside of them that causes them to hurt others… and you. You just keep working on your part with the Father of Love… healing your Know Nots with His beautiful healing Love. And in that healing, you will find peace.

And if you’ve been hurt, know this gently… Child of Love… you are worth consistently and genuinely being treated with kindness… respect… honor… and value. You always were… maybe you just didn’t know it or believe it. Maybe you didn’t know it because there were those people who told you in your life they loved you but misrepresented the Father’s love and kind of love to you.  Only you and the Father of love know the answers.  If you’ve armored up your heart, it’s time to disarm. As you receive His Love, His Love will free you to love yourself with His Love… to love others (including those who have wounded and hurt you) and to receive His Love from those who are still in your life who represent His love well to you. He will show you how to love… and how to be loved. And this is where your heart begins to bloom again.

I know it’s easy to lock up your heart quickly, but instead, invite the Heart Healer in today. Let Him go into the places you haven’t let anyone back into. Let His Love teach you. Let His Love highlight His Kingdom Lovers… those who have encountered and experienced His healing Love and will love you beyond your imagination… and will never want to hurt you. And when you meet them, you will recognize them by the fruit of Love in their lives.

Once you let the Heart Healer in, let the healing and blooming begin. Then enjoy His Love gifts… His friends, too… who will know how to love you with His Life… His Light… and His Love. Kingdom Lovers… keep keepin’ your Love on.

Heart2Heart in His Love,

Momo Smiley

Matthew 7:1–2 (NLT) Jesus teaches that judgment returns to the one who gives it… the measure you use on others becomes the measure that comes back to you. This reflects how judgment wounds your own heart first.

1 John 4:18–19 (NLT) Perfect Love drives out fear… and we love because He first loved us. This reveals why fear and judgment cannot stay where the Father of Love is healing you.

1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT) The Father of Love looks at the heart… not the outward appearance. This invites you to see yourself and others through His eyes of Love.

Luke 6:37 (NLT) When you stop judging, you stop being judged… freedom begins when judgment is released. This mirrors the freedom you described in your writing.

Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) Guard your heart above all else… for it determines the course of your life. This speaks to protecting your healing and creating relational safe space.

Romans 12:17–21 (NLT) Do not repay evil with evil… overcome evil with good. This reflects your heart posture of choosing Love instead of revenge.

Ephesians 4:31–32 (NLT) Let go of bitterness… be tenderhearted… forgive as the Father of Love forgave you. This aligns with healing from judgment and choosing compassion.

Galatians 6:1–2 (NLT) Restore others gently… carry their burdens. This echoes your call to pray for those whose unhealed wounds spill out as hurtful behavior.

Proverbs 19:11 (NLT) A wise heart overlooks offense… choosing patience over reaction. This reflects not making others’ unhealed behavior about you.

Colossians 3:12–14 (NLT) Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience… and above all, Love. This is the heart of being a relationship builder and heart builder.

James 1:19–20 (NLT) Be quick to listen… slow to speak… slow to get angry. This mirrors speaking the better word instead of prosecuting others with harshness.

Romans 8:1 (NLT) There is no condemnation for the Child of Love in Christ Jesus. This speaks to healing self‑judgment.

Psalm 147:3 (NLT) He heals the brokenhearted… He binds up their wounds. This reveals the Father of Love as the Heart Healer and Heart Mender.

Matthew 5:9 (NLT) Blessed are the peacemakers. This reflects protecting peace and preserving the healing inside your heart.

Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) You are God’s masterpiece… created in His Love, worth, and value. This affirms your identity as the Child of Love.

Proverbs 22:3 (NLT) A wise person sees danger ahead and takes precautions. This speaks to creating emotional and relational safe space.

Matthew 10:16 (NLT) Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. This reflects Love walking in wisdom without enabling unloving behavior.

Psalm 34:18 (NLT) The Father of Love is close to the brokenhearted… He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. This speaks directly to the Child of Love in the middle of the hurt.

Proverbs 14:8 (NLT) The wise understand their own way… but fools deceive themselves. This mirrors the Know Nots who cannot see their part.

Hebrews 12:14–15 (NLT) Work at living in peace with everyone… and watch that no bitter root grows up to trouble you. This reflects guarding your heart from bitterness while healing.

Psalm 139:23–24 (NLT) Search me… know my heart… lead me in Your way. This aligns with knowing your part, owning your part, and healing your part.

Proverbs 27:6 (NLT) Wounds from a sincere friend are better than kisses from an enemy. This reflects the value of heart‑building relationships.

Romans 15:1 (NLT) We who are strong must help those who are weak… not just please ourselves. This speaks to compassion for those who are unhealed.

John 13:34–35 (NLT) Love one another as I have loved you. This reflects Love from the inside out.

Psalm 32:8 (NLT) I will guide you along the best pathway for your life… I will advise you and watch over you. This speaks to the Father of Love guiding you in relational wisdom.

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